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Knowledge is POWER.
Gender: F
Age: 26
State: MI
Country: United States
Experience...
I first thought verbal abuse was a wimpy woman`s excuse for not standing up for herself. Boy- was I wrong.
Ever see the movie "Gasline"? Great classic... but very true story. Happened to me...it starts slowly.. the verbal abuse. Little flags you should notice, but don`t. After time... you still don`t notice.. except comments from your friends and family.. most likely at how much they hate the person you are dating. At first, I thought it was jealously...but now I know it was the truth.
Listen to those people. I noticed this probelm...when I became overwhelmed one day.. by a current harassing ex stalking boyfriend. You are always to blame, everything you say, do and believe is wrong...and they are right. The point to the abuser...is to control you..and always be correct. I thought I was a strong person..and finally started noticing things he said that highly bothered me... like-- "Why are you wearing that-? Let me pick you out an outfit." "You? go back to college? [mind you i`m 26,] you don`t need to do that!" I heard more I`s from him...him him him. What he wants.. what he`s doing ,etc. I was never in his final plans. Thank god for that-!! Then one night, he got very close to hitting me. Twice. I don`t know what did it in me... I couldn`t believe I didn`t move.. he rushed up to me like he was going to pop me one, screaming obscenities in my face, pointing his finger/altnerating to the middle finger- an inch from my face. I did not move- I stared right back at him- I stood my ground. I would have thought he would have realized at that point, he will and would never control me. He would point that out.."Wow...you are opinionated." Like it was a bad thing...to have a different view, than his.
I am still recovering from him..and the previous ex. I never thought this was a serious probelm...wow. How it`s altered my identity as a person.. I would have never dreamed. If you keep asking people questions on what your partner is saying to you...or anything that is going on..more than once a aweek...you`ve got yourself a controlling verbal abuser. You are always entitled to your opinion, and if your partner doesn`t agree..that`s ok. But when he consantly insists you are wrong, and will simply force you to agree with him... then get out. You should be able to speak your mind.
Good luck to any in a similar situation. I know you will get through this :)
-=Red=- [444]
Gender: F
Age: 41
State: FL
Country: USA
Experience...
To (51):
Tell your friend that you would like to remain friends with her, but this is a serious matter and you will give her so many days to tell her parents before you tell them. I work with Domestic Violence victims and sexual assault victims and your friend may be crying out for help. This is a crime what happened to your friend and this person should be punished. [90]
Gender: F
Age: 14
State: texas
Country: u.s
Experience...
well my freind was sexually abused and she wouldn`t trust anyone she thought that her parents will think that it was her fault. also she got std from the rape and she has never told ayone she was raped when she was 8 by her neighbor in asia and so they moved here thank god. And i as her best freind she told me not to tell a soul but i`ve told you because i know you don`t know me and won`t tell anyone. well cause if you did do anything about it it will cause my freindship with her to be over and i don`t know what will do because she and i have a connection of freindship. [51]
Gender: F
Age: 15
State: FL
Country: USA
Experience...
i had a friend tell me that she was haveing problems at home so she started
explaining what happened she told me that her moms boyfriend use to come over to visit her mom. but every time her mom goes to get some food at the market her mom`s boyfriend use stay alone at home w/her she explained that her mom`s boyfriend came into her room and started touching her where she did not like to be touched her mom`s boyfriend said (you better not say anything to anyone or if not he will kill you and your mom too. )she was so sacred she didn`t know what to do but when she told me that i told her to tell the cops so she did they took him away the next day she came up to me so happy and glad that he went alway now her mom doesn`t bring her boyfriendto the house no more. [46]
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